the bean

Why is it that
a trip to Chicago
isn't complete
without a picture
at the Bean?

This is what im longing for

Another summer day.
A short drive with friends.
A muddy swimming hole.
Some one to splash.
The current of the river bend.
A tall tree with a rope to swing from.
A kiddie pool as a makeshift raft.
Twin brothers to fight with.
Cate and Katie to be ok.
My running buddy by my side.
All these things I miss.
I wonder what the next adventure is.
God ... take me there.

Conviction

So God kicked me in the butt tonite.
Yesterday at 10:30 PM, Jo and I sat behind Nusebaum Sience center and talked about how we fealt like we weren't truley learning. Rather than consuming information and wrestling with it, we were just having it served to us and the moving it around on our plates like some of you mothers meat loaf that you didn't want to eat.
Today I was in the memorial prayer chapel ( for the first time in too long ) and God spoke to me.
Matthew 23. Entitled the 7 woes.
(not exactly the scripture verse I was hoping God would lead me to)
I am the blind guide, I am the hypocrite, I desire the place of Honor yet am not a servant to others.
I realized how prideful I am.
I don't even think I realize the depth of my pride now.
Why must I always qualify everything.
I'm going to try and stop putting astriks behind all that I do.
I want to walk with integrety befor the Lord.
Peace,
Zach

after 230

So I went for a walk through the streets of Chicago.
Imet a guy named tony.
if your interested please E-mail me about this encounter.
Totally a God thing.
Theresa and I wen to lunch and then back to the appartment.
My brother Tommy came and got me.
I went with him back to his house and we saw his new car... a 1980's bmw.
I got a call from theresa. she was crying.
Tommy drove me back to the appt and then went to park the car.
When I got to her door she threw it open and fell sobbing into my arms.
He had move on.. she hadn't.
when tommy came upstairs she had pulled herself together.
We decided to go out.
Tommy's back doors don't open, so we had to crawl in the window.
We went to two different Hooka bars, I told them I couldnt partake because of a covenant I signed but that i would be fine tagging along and just ordering a tea.
We ended up not staying at either becuse they were so packed.
Belmont is nice at night. Not michigan ave nice, but not lasal street bad.
we drove around for a while and I saw ramone and Jake!
we decided that White castles was the best option
so a crave case was what we got. and the traditional drink consisting of a little of everything the fountain had to offer.
it tasted like melted popsicles.. it always does

the next day

I woke up on saturday morning around 930 am.
thought about calling my girlfriend to say good morning... God wanted that time from me.
I laid there in an athiests appartment and did my devo's while the rest of the people slept soundly in their rooms.
I walked down the hall to theresas appartment and she let me in.
Aneesha was still asleep.
Theresa made cinimaon pancakes but ran out of batter and so added flour to fill its place.
By 1130 we had to leave the building.
she had class at noon and I was not permitted without her on the premesis.
I went to chicago public library to study.
its nice and quiet on the 7th floor... where the fiction books are.
A homeless lady wandered in and sat near me.
Then a college aged girl on the other side of me.
When the homeless lady started mumbling the other girl gave me a look.
the homless lady fell asleep and me and college girl began to talk.
We were both dating Jo's (hers Joseph, mine Jordan)
both loved the nintys and music
both from rural areas
shes a pilot, a femenist, and a unitarian.
We exchanged emails and went about our own ways.
It was only 230 in the after noon at this point. . theresa wouldnt be free until 330.
what to do what to do.

speaking of chicago

It was a 5 1/2 hour train ride from indianapolis to union station in chicago.
I met theresa at the bean.
at about noon we went to a little cafe of adams street.
once we had eaten we went back to her appartment off state and 8th.
I fell asleep in her bed. she was on the couch listening to an old record.
A hot cup of black tea pressed against my arm woke me two hours later.
"ouch...uh... what time is it?"... "You snore". "oh... sorry"
I met the guys down the hall. . art school kids fit the mold.
That night we went to the movies. saw zombie land.. great film. . not for kids.
Ted Dekkers neice said Hello to me after the movie. She stayed in my girlfriends room last weekend. . . small world
We went back to zachs appartment. he made us pizza and we did a bible study.
I slept at Johns appt. it was a good day. I love traveling.

French toast sticks

We had French toast sticks in the DC for breakfast this morning... God is good. :)

its always thanks giving

Today I was making panckakes in the lobby of my dorm. There were tons of people there, some watching tv, others studying, many just socializing with books open in front of them. as I was cooking i would either offer or people would ask for a pancake. I was glad to share with them (mixing water in to panckake mix and pouring it onto a hot skillet is not rocket science). One girl had not gotten over to dinner and was not sure what she was going to have for dinner so peanut butter pancakes were a huge blessing for her. as I was cleaning up a feeling over came me. It feels like thanks giving.
I remembered my aunt washing dishes as some of the family talked around the table, the kids played, and others zoned out on a football game. That feeling of calm comotion. When everyone is glad to be lazy and social and together. That was the feeling in the lobby. Thats always kind of the feeling. Theres always people, not usually being productive and something about college studying is similar to the feeling you get when you eat a lot of turkey... you just want to sleep.
Though I doubt that text books transmit triptophayne into my system, and the people in my dorm are not my family it sure does feel like thanks giving in Gerig Hall.

Story time

There are two small windows in my dorm room. Seths desk is right infront of one of them and mine in front of the other. As I look out side my window i see a big old tree that is bright orange because all its leaves have turned color. Something about it makes me want to curl up with a good book a warm blanket and my closest friends and wait for winter to come. I love fall. I also have this longing for scripture to tell me a story. I just want to sit down with my bible in a comfy spot and feel like its my grandfather telling me a Christmas story. Its a good feeling and a good time of year. everything feels like its got a burnt orange color to it. its good. also. I am wrestling with Matthew 25. I don't under stand the parable of the 10 virgins. I suppose I should re-read, pray, ask others, and pray some more about it. hm.

Upland

Today in chapel we had a speaker who I know pretty well. Her name is Malesa, she is a senor here at Taylor, and she talked about her living situation across town- among other things. She talked about how ashamed she felt to have a Taylor University sticker on her car window. She feels like her neighbors view her as condescending. All she wants is to follow Christ and to love her neighbor but she feels like she is a walking billboard for middle class condescending america. I often feel the same way. Like im just fitting the mold. My hair cut, my cloths, my car. It all adds up to one more harmless white kid who is getting a college degree. Sometimes I wrestle with the thought that it would be easier to stay focused on Christ if I was living in down town Philly with 7 other Christians in an old jank row house. That would be a much more apparent and tangible sacrifice for Christ than University life. But both are hard and need worked at. I just pray ( and your welcome to pray for me too :) ) that I can use my academic life to Honor and Praise God. That I can focus on my studies and use time studying instead of relaxing or goofing off as a sacrifice for Christ. It may not be a crazy story, but I believe its where God has called me to be for now.
Grace and Peace,
Zachary

Parents weekend

so everyone is on their best behavior, and all the rooms are tidied up real nice. Its interesting the way we change how we act for peoples parents. My mom and dad are coming out to see me at noon. it should be interesting. My room set up is anything but common. Beds are lofted onto desks and book shelves, and my mattress doubles as a couch on the floor sorrounded by bean bags. This floor lounge is all illuminated by Christmas lights and band art work. all in all its pretty good. i'm a fan.

Its october

It's October! the leaves are mostly turned and the weather is cooling down. I love it. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I pulled a box of sweaters out of my closed today and am excited to start wearing them. I'm also working on finding a train that will get me to Chicago. It reminds me of John Foreman saying that home is a place you can still get to by train. I love that image. so hopefully the 16th ill be on my way to Chi Town to see Theresa and Tommy. I love those two.
Peace,
Zach

Initiation

It was the end of "Welcome Weekend".
Everone was on campus and classes had just started.
As part of the school year beginning everyone had a hall meeting.
Sitting there listening to the does and don'ts was as boring as youd expect.
As the half and hour meeting came to an end you could sense anticipation in the air.
From the freshmen it was anticipation to get back to studying or hanging out.
For the upper class men it was for Initiation.

"All right. so i think thats it then... its time" not the closing remarks for a meeting we expected.
after five seconds of silence and glances all around the hall all the upper class men jumped up and began letting out deep bellowing yells. it reminded me of a battle yell, the kind that between even the small number of men on our floor never seems to die down from that testosterone filled hum.

we were told to go and get a shirt and to bring nothing else. the freshmen were all hurried to their rooms by yells and shoving then quickly moved down the stairs. taken outside into the cool nite and lined up agains the back of the building.

"Hands against the wall!" we were commanded militantly. Then our extra shirts were taken and tied around our heads as blind folds. at any one time you were being commanded and yelled at by at least 3 different upperclas men so the best thing to do was to just stay with your hands against the wall. we were then all taken by the arms and run all around campus. Blind folded of course.

We were told we were out side of Girls dorms and then they made us sing im a little tea pot or twinkle twinkle little star in our highest voice possible. periodically we would be interupted and told to do push ups. This seemed more like boot camp than a Christian College.

after 15 min of running around blind folded doing rediculous things we were lead into the woods. you could feel the mulch of a path under your feet and the leaves of trees periodically brushing your arms or face. The one thought on my mind was... why the woods... nothing is back there except... the lake.

You knew we were all together because you could hear all the others around you. once we were assembled in a clearing we were all made to run in what fealt like a circle. someone grabbed my shoulder and escorted me away from the circle after about 3 min. i could hear 3 or four people around me but i could also hear that we were headed farther and farther from the group.

"ok now careful.. step up." the wood undr my feet. . could it be the dock?... would they relly do that. "ok .. ok.. step foreward carefully." i could sense mor people here. "now theres a chair behind you. sit down slowly" when i sat the chair was not sitting flat. i could feel two people behind me already holding the chiair. There was anothe person by my left leg.. he grabbed the chair. you could sence that they were getting their grip to lift the chair. my only question was to where. was it just to be lifted and carried around or lifted and then dumped with me into the cold lake. "put your legs out straight... tighten your abs. good legs straight!"i was directed..the man who had been guiding me set his hand under the right leg of the chair and then the question i was waiting for " do you have anyting electronic with you?"

before I could answere they began count down ... One! Two! THREE!!!

in that instant they ripped of my blind fold and...

before me sat an upperclass man who took gentle hold of my foot and dipped it into a bowl of warm water. another man began to read

"Jesus got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

My breath was taken away.. they washed my feet and as soon as this simple, beautiful, servant action was done. there was a line of men ready to embrace me and say "welcome to Foso".

lazer lights

Through the chaotic sounds and the blinding flashes of light there should be a message.

when we started the band there was supposed to be a message. we were promoting something different. a good time you didnt have to feel bad about or hide. a cleaner brand of rock-n-roll. an unconventional way to fellowship.

the band has been a different thing to many different people. alot of Latrobe is part of the band. their attendance and suport made us who we are on the music scene... or did they.

Certainly they were a big part. but the bigger part is the one who brought us all together. the master planer himself. That one night after worship band practice developed into so much. But we cant forget that. We cant allow our selves to become all noise and lazer lights. theres a message there. that we need to share. We need to live it. To sing it. To scream it into every microphone we come across.

The message is that no matter how big or small your talents are God, a true living God, will guide you to use them for his glory. That you are a sinner. in need of a savior. and the time is now. right now... to start living like it matters. Because to Him... you do matter.

New = Normal

So its off to taylor university in just three days. Its a new chapter in life and a new adventure. im excited for the challenge and the freedom. ive never been so excited about studying, or networking. Im used to being the new kid. but this time... everyone is the new kid. Since new is normal for me... life is good :P.

God has blessed me with this oppertunity and Im excited to see whats instore further down the road.

Cram!

so my time here at cram has been intense. well busy at best. yesterday i woke up at 630. i showered, ate breakfast. went to class by 8. 3 hours whent bye... I had an hour break so i used it to start a paper. Ate lunch and was at my second class by 1. Class got out at 230. i came back and wrote a paper about speaking intongyes until 5 (dinner). after dinner i came back and had a talk with a friend of mine. one of my pas (personel assisistants). then we had a group meeting and then i came home and wrote some more until 11. i got in a wrestling match and got turned into a pritzle. then i finished a take home test at 200 am. woke up this morning at 630. its been like this all the time.. im very tired.

Its been a while

It's been a while Since I could hold my head up high

its a stained song. and ive got to tell you ive fealt a litle staind lately.
Kentucky changed me
im sooo ready for a new chapter in my life.
now Im at cram... 3 weeks at taylor university.
I can finally hold my head up high!

Grace and Peace
Zach

dizzy

Last night I went to bed early. I fealt awfully dizzy. Like light headed. A little nausous ... but mostly just dizzy. I dropped my girl off at her house and she noticed something was wrong. She got so worried about me. I went home and fell right asleep. When I woke up this morning I reached for the cup of water on my night stand and in the motion of bringing my arm from one side of my body to the other my head was sent spinning and I missed the glass all together. Against my girls advice I went to school. The morning was filled with similar glimpses of virtigo. By lunch I fealt much better. My life has become very dizzy since i turned 18. Im so ready to live and yet I dont know what that is supposed to look like. Im gonna go pray now.
Zach

swing life away

It's been a long time since i've fealt like I could just swing life away. since ive been in a place where the friends make it home. I miss feeling at home. I miss living each day onfire for Christ and finding rest in the lawnchairs of friends that truley were brothers and sisters to me. hours spent talking, not havting to do anything. and yet helping eachother through everything. Idk. she makes me feel like that. but its an interesting time in life.. were all about to have the rug pulled out from under us... in the mean time.. watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_WwsA_Ky-k

Combat

So here we find ourselves. silly as it may be.

She is so ready to go into battle... and I'm just trying to stay afloat.

Shes good for me ... you know... Its funny... shes teaching me just what I need...

How to listen.

Plans

I seem to be stressing over my failing plans

It'll be alright, its all in Gods hands...

Why is my eye so squintey?.. hm

The musical

So the 40 day bible has been interesting. im still caught up in exodus... wayyy behind.. but its cool. i need to get in the word more. tonite I went to our spring musical.. Grease. its funny how ronchy the story is.
everyone smokes, everone drinks. If you don't fit in the crowd that constantly fills themselves up with those things then you fit in with the prissy cheer leader crowd. the Jocks that want nothing but to be the best and if they arent the best they are nothing...
It appears there are two solutions to your problems. Conquor them in style ... or run from them with ciggaretts, alcohol, and other worldly crap.
I find myself stuck in the middle. "too weak to give in, too strong to lose"(foo fighters)
What I need to do is run to the cross. To stop feeling like I have to prove myself and to stop thinking that my dreams are too big for me to ever actually accomplish. I need to spend some time in quiet prayer to Jesus. I need to make sure that I'm living for him. cause i need to lose my life to save it. Hm. funny how that works. peace... zach

40 day Bible

Hey guys. so here we go. in this post are listed the dates and what our reading assignments are for those particular dates. first here are some things you should know.

The purpose of this endevour is not to fully understand the scriptures but rather to gain perspective. To read the entire Bible in such a short and intense period will hopfully give us some idea for how vast Gods plan for our salvation is. Above all let God use all the extra time spent in the word to work in your heart.

This is a heafty and intimidating task .. so heres the plan. If you are gettin over stressed, school work is suffering, or relationships... take a break!. taking one or two days off can be just what you need. rather than struggling to keep up . just skip a day or two. then you can go back at the end of the forty days and "fill in the blanks" (read any books you skipped).

I hope that we can all continue to pray for eachother and can all grow stronger in our faith.

Monday, April 20 - Genesis ch 1-25
21- Genesis ch 26-50
22- Exodus ch 1-20
23- Exodus ch 21-40
24- Leviticus
25- Numbers ch 1-18
26- Numbers ch 19-36
27- Deuteronomy
28- Joshua
29- Judges-ruth
30- 1 Samuel
Friday, May 1 - 2 Samuel
2- 1 Kings
3- 2 Kings
4- 1 Chronicals
5- 2 Chronicals
6- Ezra - Nehemiah
7- Esther - Job
8- Psalm 1-50
9- Psalm 51-100
10- Psalm 101- 150
11- Proverbs- Ecclesiastes
12- Song of songs - Isiah ch 33
13- Isiah ch 34- 66
14- Jeramiah ch 1-30
15- Jeramiah ch 31- Lamentations
16- Ezekiel ch 1-24
17- Ezekiel ch 25-48
18- Daniel - Amos
19- Obadiah - Malachi
20- Matthew
21- Mark
22- Luke
23- John
24- Acts
25- Romans - 2 Corinthians
26- Galatians - Philemon
27- Hebrews - Jude
28- Rvelation
29- Fill in the gaps.

Hope you all hear God's voice. and I hope that this experience becomes a blessing and not a burden and a trip to the eye doctors. Remember. No ones making you do this. Listing to Gods call. Grace and Peace.
Zachary

grow up

This weekend I decided it was time to pull the van out of the water. I told her that I couldn't take her to prom. She was pissed. Sooo pissed. But i know it was the right decision. I can't be with someone who is unequally yolked.

If there was a spectrum spanning east to west.

Crazy reliant on Gods provision, like John eating locust in the desert

-VS-

Working hard to provide for myself and being self sufficint (W/O God)

I am headed to the east.

she is headed east. but only plans to travel about 15 more miles that direction. that is because her motivation... her drive to continue is of worldly origin.

I don't know how far God will call me towards the East. But i know that unless my girl is willing to Go the whole way with me ... I can't justify tieing myself down... limiting Gods power.

I need to stretch my legs and run to the east... to the cross.

The world is behind me... no turning back... no turning back.

It's time i stopped blaming my failures on boyhood and began acting like a Man of Christ.

Pavlovs dogs

I'm workin on a 20 minute lesson that I have to present tomorrow in my speech class. Im teaching the class about classical conditioning. Pavlovs dogs. so.. for a little fun . im gonna give everyone in the class a dixie cup filled with koolaidemix. everytime i ring the bell sparatically throughout my speech they will dip their finger in and then suck the mix off. im curious to see if it works. it would be awesome i f I got my class to drool on command.. and kinda gross.. but mostly awesome :P

Im kinda like one of pavlovs dogs. See. when I get lonly i run to the first girl I see and hold on tight. Spending as much time (and money :( ) as possible together. Learning all about her . and getting to know her ( the king and I just popped into my head ). but its so unhealthy.

If lonleyness is the bell
And the Girl of my dreams is a cup of Koolaide
Then why am I drooling over nothing?

Ill wait for the Koolaide. Im sick of tricking myself into thinking that i've found the love of my life whenever the bell rings.

Lonleyness makes me crave companionship. But I won't be mislead by the bell.

I hope that we can all find Peace and Community in Gods family. As Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

The peace and security in a family of Believers is a victory for God against the lonliness that satan uses to try and lead us astray. Praise God for my family.

Submerged

today I saw a van that was stuck under water up to its windows. the area around my house floods alot and by the looks of it this guy hydro planed off the road and now the only part of his car visible is the top. when the rain dries up hell have to fetch it out. what a shame. its an aweful hassle . not nearly as easy as a crash where insurance would make a quick and easy fix. this way is just as expernisve. but much less practical.

I find my self in the same situation with my faith. Theres a Girl that I should not be persuing. Were not equally yoked. but shes nice. and theres no one else. i only see her once in a blue moon. I like her sure. but i know that its not meant to be. so .. idont know what to do. Im taking her to prom.. so I cant decide which is worse

Tell her that i think its a bad idea that we go together cause its just gonna get us more attatched to something that wont last. ( a car crash of emotions)

or to take her and then she realizes that she drove 3 hours to go to prom with me and my heart isnt fully in it. ( a van sittin in the water)

I don't know. ive got myself in a pickle . i care about her.. shes like family.. but .. i want wats best. and she clouds my judgement. though Im really to blame for that one. IDK.

Pray for me please. Mabey one day Ill get my head on straight. I wish you all peace.

Where have I been?

The end of fear is where we begin...

Dang. its been over a month since i've blogged. Im not happy about that. I used to look forward to reading my friends comments and to reading all of your blogs.
In my month away, crazy things have happened. ive been at my worst.. and at my best. I've seen God work through me, and ive made foolish decisions that are basically like giving the finger to God.
Its been crazy. but it has brought me to my knees at the foot of the cross.. so its been wonderful.
ive got alot of stories to tell. but im gonna start blogging again by readin my friends blogs.

I miss the pitts(burgh)

So i went to a retreat this weekend out near pittsburgh. A friend and I drove over 7 hours to go spend the weekend away from every day life and have an encounter with God. Man was God ever big this weekend. The thing I rememberr most was the prayer labrynth. I was in a dimly lit area. After going through several experiences I was left with a vision of an inprint. A very specific one. One that you could try to fill. but would never truly fill. the imprint of my being. one that only God can fill. I laid there crying for at least 15 minutes over welmed by the thought that God dreamed about me like a lover. Before he breathed me into life God dreamed about making me. About how I would smile. And how i would cry. About how i would dance like there was no tomorrow at the sound of his name and how I would struggle through the hard times and be faithful to a Him who created and loves me. He dreamed about making me.. Its amazing.. that God could love me. a sinner like me. sooooo much.. God is good .. Sooo good. Have a great day.. but take a minute. shut off the lights. the tv. the music. just kneel by your bed side. quiet your life for just a bit.. shutt off the cell phone .. some one else wants to talk.. spend some time talking to God.. Then open his word. read and listen.. Open your heart. Let God in to places that are usually conjested with the worlds crap ( skubalin) and He will fill those cracks.

Lay it Down

Surender is So scary.

And So Beautiful.

Watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-qz2ZWcvg4

I love playing guitar

Somthing about music just sooths the soul.

I love playing guitar. It's what lead me to Jesus.

I love playin for people because i get to use my gift.

It puts a smile on my face that no one can erase.

Last nite my frends Drew, Jenna, and I loaded my car FULL.

We had a drum set a PA system . guitars and guitar amps.

We drove to PCC church and played with some guys there.

Then we packed up the equipment and were playin 45 minutes away at 1:15 AM.

We got to lead worship for a middle school lock in.

And then we all spent the nite ( after a well deserved I-Hop stop at 3 AM )

Im not that good at guitar.

Drew has been playing drums for just about a month.

Jenna has a great voice.

And we had a blast.

Got to sing to the king.

Got to show middle school kids the infectous love of Christ.

In a smile that is contagous.

Do what you do. It dosen't matter if your the best or not that good. But know Why your doing it. Find a Joy that shines like the morning sun in your smile because you know that God has gifted you and you get to use that gift. We all have a place in the body of christ. We can all bear good fruit. no matter the size. I love guitar.. im gonna keep playing. and practicing.. and gettin better. so that I can sing a love song... to Jesus.

I Carly

Ok so i hardly ever watch tv. But right after school i like to have a snack and I carly is usually on. ( my sister seems to automatically put nickolodeon on ... im a cartoon network kinda guy :P )

It wasn't the show that caught my attention but the theme song...

So wake up the members of my nation

Genesis 12:2
"I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing.

it's your time to be

Isaiah 42:14 "For a long time I have kept silent, I have been quiet and held myself back. But now, like a woman in childbirth, I cry out, I gasp and pant.

theres no chance unless you take one

Luke 9:25
What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?

and its your time to see

John 15:15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

a brighter side of every situation

1 Peter 1:8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

somethings are meant to be

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.

so give your best and leave it all to me

Revelation 22:12 "Behold, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to everyone according to what he has done.

So there you have it.. comming to you from one of the founders of the first church of McDonalds ... (trumpets sound .. ba ba da daaa!!!) the I Carly devo! but seriously im gonna take a week to look at one of these verses per day ( and read the scripture around it to fully grasp the context and meaning of what is being said) so i invite you to copy, paste, and print this off. take it one day at a time and read the chapter sorounding these verses. i'd be happy as a bug in a rug if i got feed back. even if its just to tell me how rediculous the idea of an I Carly bible study is .

My prayer is that we can all stay in the Word daily and let God speak to us through scripture. Weather a planed out reading, or a spirit lead moment of " i need to read my bible!". I hope that we can be in tune and let our lives be changed by the plan God has instore for us all.

Im excited

Im excited. for the winter retreat. for friends from far away. for the friends im gettin closer to in the halls at school, for the way my study habits have improved. for oppertuinities that God has put in my life. and for whatever comes next.

Matthew 22:32 "I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob' ? He is not the God of the dead but of the living."

Im excited to live each day for a living God. one that offeres adventure and excitment. one that has a plan so much bigger and better that i could ever imagine. a God who answeres prayers from his faithful ones. and who has a promise of eternal life.

I pray that we can all get swept up in Gods plan. that we would let the adventure of following our savior over whelm us so that we have to risk things. and trust God. i hope that we can all find a way to trust in turbulance.

Sending Duplicates

I caught myself today.

About to send the same text two two different girls.

It was one of those moments that really got to me.

See txt messaging is probably the lowest form of communication on the planet. in fact i think smoke signals are more heart warming. and the fact that i depersonalized ( i belive i may have just created that word) it even more made me feel terrible. It speaks volumes on my relationships.

When you hear a sappy love song that makes you want to txt that special someone thats cute. but when you hear the same song and txt your last 4 girlfriends in hopes that one will respond thats desparation.

It shifts from i want to talk to one specific girl to... I crave female attention. which is a dangerous place to be. thats where people get used. and feelings get hurt. trust gets broken and friends get lost.

Because of how detaced we become from our friends i could send the same txt to 5 people at once and they would all think it was intended "just for them".

In fact i know a guy in Illinois that is dating 2 girls at the same time.. but because their in different schools neither of them will find out anytime soon ... if ever.

the world has gotten to "big". I long for the small town feel. so my challenge for you is to look at the number of friends on your face book and honestly ask your self... do i know them.. if i had to write down 5 things that make them destinct and special to me... could I? or are they just a face book friend.. and IM friend.. or a TXT friend.

Now theres nothing wrong with knowing a lot of people. and i love being social. In fact it is biblical to be social 3 John 1:8 "We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth." (the men hes talking about are strangers who claim to be friends)

Embrace your community. keep clicking YES to friend requests. meet new people.. but make sure you have your "best" friends. make sure you dont get lost in an ocean of digital friends. because that can leave you to wake up one day and realize that even though your surrounded by a crowd ... you dont really know anyone... "I woke, cold and alone, Adrift in an open sea, Caught up in regrets, And tangled in nets, Instead of your arms wrapped around me."- Digital Sea by: Thrice

My prayer is that we can all get to know eachother better and that we can appreciate those around us in our lives for who they are and who God created them to be.

Acts 18:10 For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city

So Paul finds himself in a new town. When he arrived he met lots of people and preached the Good News of Jesus Christ like he meant it! Now the Jews didnt quite appreciate that and it was just before He was taken to court that God spoke to him and assured him with the verse in Acts 18:10. That was reassuring to Paul and he made it through the courts and continued spreadin Jesus.

Now I can only imagine the kind of fear Paul must have fealt. But he had the strength to endure the trials because he knew that God was with him. Its interesting because it is easy to let the words on the page be just words. its easy to forget how real Pauls struggle was. it miss the intensity of the situation. and its also easy to miss another deeper meaning.

We should walk and proclaime the gospel with the same confidence that Paul did. None of us are perfect. were all flawed sinners. but as 2 Timothy 2:13 says "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself." thats right. even though we fail God is there. In fact God is there while we fail... think about that.

Now something interesting about Acts 18:10. When God promised "I am with you" to comfort paul... it meant so much more. See the translators failed to catch the true essance of this statement which was not quite I am with you... but rather... I with you am...

God is faithful to us even when we arent to him because he cannot disown himself... see God is not just with us. With us ..He Is. We were made in the image and likeness of God. His spirit was breathed into us as in Genesis 2:7. God with us is...

See i don't believe in a God out there some where. No .. God is right here in you and in me.... God is not just with us.. with us He Is!. "We are more than just carbon and chemicals, We are the Image of the Invisible!"(-thrice)

My prayer is that we can all start living like God with us is!. To start living in the peace that our very life came from God who breathed it into us.. and that we are in his image.. and image of the invisible. and that we will let God work through us.

community

1 John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

Praise God for fellowship. Im not sure where id be without my friends.

Moving from pennsylvania to Indiana was the first time that i really had to stand on my own. My faith was tested and all in all im now closer to God. Its incredible how when we fall our brothers and sisters pick us up. I often for get how grace filled our community of believers is. Now that dosent mean that their afraid to kick my butt some times. and thats just wat i need. The body of christ is amazing . and im so thankful for it.

My friend Kimberly just moved to Green Valley Arizona (near tuscan) from New Lenox Illinois (5 min from Jolliet) its been a huge change and she felt very displaced. she just enroled inthe community college and was feeling very lonley. she called me asking wat to do. i did a little research for her and found a church that seemed interesting. she went on sunday and then to youth group sundaynite and is already makin friends. She was getting depressed by then the body of christ picked her up and welcomed her in.

My prayer is that we can support eachother and find comfort in the fellowship .

Matthew 20:29-34

Thank you all for your prayers and support. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by so many loving and caring friends who Do look on me with grace and help me through my faults. Like i had said before Grace is for progress.

I was reading Matthew 20:29-34 and it resonated with me and these last few hectic days. Though I am saved and I Have known the Lord for some time now I let myself slip. I found myself as a "blind man" outside the city gates. Now in Matthew it says there were two men which is ironic. Because one of my best buddies were in the same place. I found my self giving him advice that i needed to give myself. In the midst of getting so caught up in foolish things i lost sight of Gods bigger plan for us all.

Over the last four days or so ive really fleshed this out and ended up running back to God, not even realizing how much i had been drifting away. I was so broken that all i could do was shout out "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!"

It was a night of restlessness and I found myself in the midst of a huge spiritual battle. Though the "crowd" kept telling me to be quiet, i found my self crumbling at the feet of my savior.

The amazing part about it is that His response to my surrender to Him... (me realizing im not worthy but still turning to Jesus), was that he asked "what do you want me to do for you". I asked for the Grace to make it through this and to get back up on my feet now that i've fallen. I got what i needed. and "recived my sight". now all i can do is follow Him.

Im so grate ful that God's Grace has restored my sight so that i can see His bigger plan and live with intention to be intune and do my part in what i have been called to do for the Kingdom of God.

My prayer is that we can accept Gods grace and move foreward in a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Also that we would allow Gods word to speak to us in our lives and that we would recive scripture into our hearts and let it guide us,in conjunction with the Holy Spirit, so that we may continue to stay "in tune" with God's plan which is bigger that we could ever concieve.

The Audience

Say hello to the audience. Their watching you. Scrutenizing every little thing you do... don't slip up. They don't quite believe in grace. Cause when you say your one thing... but you prove to be another... how can they believe anything you say. Without integrity... How can the audience believe us.With out integrity how can we believe ourselves? How long can we fool ourselves before we fall. Not long.. Because a lie leads to more secrets. Soon nobody can trust you. and with out trust. They lose hope for you. So without trust there is no hope. So if you can't trust yourself... Hm.

Thats where i am tonite. I can't trust myself. I say im one thing.. Then i prove to be another. I need to change. My yes needs to be yes... and my No needs to be no. Because then... i can trust myself.. then ... i have hope. I don't doubt that i will fail. But i hope it never gets this bad again. Cause im starting to lose sight of who i really am.. And who i hoped to be. The audience is always watching.

Hebrews 13:2 Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

An even greater audience is watching also... an audience of One. The One who knew me before i was born. The one who knows the desires of my heart. And the one who i have to have faith in so i can trust Him and Give my life to him so that i can Hope to be all that he has promised i can be... It seems so simple... Why have i made it so hard.

Pray for me. and my integrity.. im sick of this game. that i play with myself. I can't bear to be luke warm any longer... i know the concequence of that.

Grace

Grace is enabling power sufficient for progression...
Without Gods Grace... im not worthy of anything.
If i got what i deserved... if i was punished for every wrong i did...
i don't want to think about it.
But Grace...
Grace allows us to move foreward.
Grace allows us to carry on even when we stumbly (Mark 14:38)
We can't abuse Grace. (Romans 6:1)
Where is your heart?
Are you willing to accept the gift of Grace.
To die to sin and to move on?
To live the way God meant.

There was an old lady who kept saying she was having encounters with Jesus in her dreams. She was catholic and the priest of her parish said this cannot be. He doubted the woman and accused her of being a false prophet. The lady begged and pleaded. "I am not a liar. i tell you the truth! Jesus talkes to me in my dreams." So the priest said to her the next time you Talk to Jesus ask Him what the last sin i confessed was and then ill believe you. A period of time went bye and when the priest returned he asked if she had spoken to Jesus. She replied enthusiastically yes yes. So wat did He say when you asked him the last sin i confessed the priest asked. The woman got quiet and a smile slowly spread across her face. Wrinkles bunched up in each corner of her lips she softly spoke these words.. "He said He didn't remember."

If we confess our sins to Jesus. And Make progression , peace will come our way.

2 Corinthians 1:2-Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Grace in the origional aramaic is Charis, and Peace is Arene.

Charis is a Grace that only God can give. A grace that totally forgets the wrongs youve done and confessed so that you can make progress and grow in the spirit of all mighty God.

Arene is a peace that only comes from being in Harmony with God's plan. Its a musical term that means harmony.

You know that feeling when things just fit... when you feel like you were the missing puzzle peace and you ended up right where you needed to be right at the perfect moment. The feeling that you met someone you were supposed to. Or didsomething you were supposed to.

In the movie I am Legend one of the main characters makes the point that God sent her to save the Will Smith. and that if we stoped and listened we would hear Gods plan.

The melody is there. find your harmony... listen for it.. youll find it in Grace. the two go hand in hand. Grace and Peace.

If you haven't seen I am Legend i recomend it. Mabey a lil scary for the kids. But the part i would focus on is the butterfly... Look daddy... a its a butterfly.

My prayer is that we can Accept Gods Gift of Grace. Make progression in his plan. See all the butterflies. and Live in Harmony.
Charis and Arene.

New Years

So I'm alive. Ive been gone and haven't blogged in forever. but i have kept alot of you in my thoughts and prayers. The Christmas "BREAK" started with an ice storm that took out our power for a few days. it came back in time for christmas eve. by christmas day i was in chicago land area. Specifically in tinley park and Jolliet (the city where the blues brothers are from). The next day it took 6hrs for my familt to make the 3hr trip from Tinley park to Churubusco (where i live). the roads were trecherous and the toll way was closed for 100 miles.

When we arived i showered packed and within an hour i left for Pittsburg. The 6hr drive went as well as it can when your alone and i arived around 9 pm . i stayed there for 4 days. on the second day i was so sick i slept 11 hrs with a 101 degree fever. i recovered , praise God, Played with my band alot and we wrote two new songs. We also decided to go on tour this summer. which will be good. But one tour at a time.

I left on monday and arived in indiana at midnite. by 6am on tuesday i was in a van on the way to mayanett in the upper peninsula of michigan. 11hrs later we arived. helped a band and socialized with the audience. we slept in the house of a man named wilson that nite. he was a hiwian who handmakes exotic skateboards. cool stuff.

The nine of us in our van then followed the 4 bands to manomony michigan the next day. It was now newyears eve (wednesday) i played the opening set just 30 min of me and my acoustic guitar and my harmonica. then the other bands played and we brought in the new year.

that nite we slept at Jims. he was a nice man and we all got showers. my friend blayne captured and released a bat that had gotten into the house with nothing but a newspaper. it was fantastic.

We left and then arrived the next day (thursday) in iron river michigan. this was the last show and it was great fun. we spent two days there running the coffe shop. cleaning. helping bands unload equipment. i got to do another acoustic set there but u just played my harmonica. none of us showered those two days. so the 10 hr drive home smelled osm.

We drove through chicago and had portillos. Best hotdogs ever! i arrived home at 7o'clock. now here i am today. i can't wait to go back to school... i need a break :P.

But honestly, God showed me alot about life on this crazy trip. That unless your willing to be tired to be hungry and dirty unless your willing to live rough. youll miss out on a lot that God has to show you. There are times to rest. and also times to explore. Don't waste your youth on the couch. Go . Live. Shine your lite where ever you go. It will make you appreciate home and all God has blessed you with. Amen!