Conviction

So God kicked me in the butt tonite.
Yesterday at 10:30 PM, Jo and I sat behind Nusebaum Sience center and talked about how we fealt like we weren't truley learning. Rather than consuming information and wrestling with it, we were just having it served to us and the moving it around on our plates like some of you mothers meat loaf that you didn't want to eat.
Today I was in the memorial prayer chapel ( for the first time in too long ) and God spoke to me.
Matthew 23. Entitled the 7 woes.
(not exactly the scripture verse I was hoping God would lead me to)
I am the blind guide, I am the hypocrite, I desire the place of Honor yet am not a servant to others.
I realized how prideful I am.
I don't even think I realize the depth of my pride now.
Why must I always qualify everything.
I'm going to try and stop putting astriks behind all that I do.
I want to walk with integrety befor the Lord.
Peace,
Zach

after 230

So I went for a walk through the streets of Chicago.
Imet a guy named tony.
if your interested please E-mail me about this encounter.
Totally a God thing.
Theresa and I wen to lunch and then back to the appartment.
My brother Tommy came and got me.
I went with him back to his house and we saw his new car... a 1980's bmw.
I got a call from theresa. she was crying.
Tommy drove me back to the appt and then went to park the car.
When I got to her door she threw it open and fell sobbing into my arms.
He had move on.. she hadn't.
when tommy came upstairs she had pulled herself together.
We decided to go out.
Tommy's back doors don't open, so we had to crawl in the window.
We went to two different Hooka bars, I told them I couldnt partake because of a covenant I signed but that i would be fine tagging along and just ordering a tea.
We ended up not staying at either becuse they were so packed.
Belmont is nice at night. Not michigan ave nice, but not lasal street bad.
we drove around for a while and I saw ramone and Jake!
we decided that White castles was the best option
so a crave case was what we got. and the traditional drink consisting of a little of everything the fountain had to offer.
it tasted like melted popsicles.. it always does

the next day

I woke up on saturday morning around 930 am.
thought about calling my girlfriend to say good morning... God wanted that time from me.
I laid there in an athiests appartment and did my devo's while the rest of the people slept soundly in their rooms.
I walked down the hall to theresas appartment and she let me in.
Aneesha was still asleep.
Theresa made cinimaon pancakes but ran out of batter and so added flour to fill its place.
By 1130 we had to leave the building.
she had class at noon and I was not permitted without her on the premesis.
I went to chicago public library to study.
its nice and quiet on the 7th floor... where the fiction books are.
A homeless lady wandered in and sat near me.
Then a college aged girl on the other side of me.
When the homeless lady started mumbling the other girl gave me a look.
the homless lady fell asleep and me and college girl began to talk.
We were both dating Jo's (hers Joseph, mine Jordan)
both loved the nintys and music
both from rural areas
shes a pilot, a femenist, and a unitarian.
We exchanged emails and went about our own ways.
It was only 230 in the after noon at this point. . theresa wouldnt be free until 330.
what to do what to do.

speaking of chicago

It was a 5 1/2 hour train ride from indianapolis to union station in chicago.
I met theresa at the bean.
at about noon we went to a little cafe of adams street.
once we had eaten we went back to her appartment off state and 8th.
I fell asleep in her bed. she was on the couch listening to an old record.
A hot cup of black tea pressed against my arm woke me two hours later.
"ouch...uh... what time is it?"... "You snore". "oh... sorry"
I met the guys down the hall. . art school kids fit the mold.
That night we went to the movies. saw zombie land.. great film. . not for kids.
Ted Dekkers neice said Hello to me after the movie. She stayed in my girlfriends room last weekend. . . small world
We went back to zachs appartment. he made us pizza and we did a bible study.
I slept at Johns appt. it was a good day. I love traveling.

French toast sticks

We had French toast sticks in the DC for breakfast this morning... God is good. :)

its always thanks giving

Today I was making panckakes in the lobby of my dorm. There were tons of people there, some watching tv, others studying, many just socializing with books open in front of them. as I was cooking i would either offer or people would ask for a pancake. I was glad to share with them (mixing water in to panckake mix and pouring it onto a hot skillet is not rocket science). One girl had not gotten over to dinner and was not sure what she was going to have for dinner so peanut butter pancakes were a huge blessing for her. as I was cleaning up a feeling over came me. It feels like thanks giving.
I remembered my aunt washing dishes as some of the family talked around the table, the kids played, and others zoned out on a football game. That feeling of calm comotion. When everyone is glad to be lazy and social and together. That was the feeling in the lobby. Thats always kind of the feeling. Theres always people, not usually being productive and something about college studying is similar to the feeling you get when you eat a lot of turkey... you just want to sleep.
Though I doubt that text books transmit triptophayne into my system, and the people in my dorm are not my family it sure does feel like thanks giving in Gerig Hall.

Story time

There are two small windows in my dorm room. Seths desk is right infront of one of them and mine in front of the other. As I look out side my window i see a big old tree that is bright orange because all its leaves have turned color. Something about it makes me want to curl up with a good book a warm blanket and my closest friends and wait for winter to come. I love fall. I also have this longing for scripture to tell me a story. I just want to sit down with my bible in a comfy spot and feel like its my grandfather telling me a Christmas story. Its a good feeling and a good time of year. everything feels like its got a burnt orange color to it. its good. also. I am wrestling with Matthew 25. I don't under stand the parable of the 10 virgins. I suppose I should re-read, pray, ask others, and pray some more about it. hm.

Upland

Today in chapel we had a speaker who I know pretty well. Her name is Malesa, she is a senor here at Taylor, and she talked about her living situation across town- among other things. She talked about how ashamed she felt to have a Taylor University sticker on her car window. She feels like her neighbors view her as condescending. All she wants is to follow Christ and to love her neighbor but she feels like she is a walking billboard for middle class condescending america. I often feel the same way. Like im just fitting the mold. My hair cut, my cloths, my car. It all adds up to one more harmless white kid who is getting a college degree. Sometimes I wrestle with the thought that it would be easier to stay focused on Christ if I was living in down town Philly with 7 other Christians in an old jank row house. That would be a much more apparent and tangible sacrifice for Christ than University life. But both are hard and need worked at. I just pray ( and your welcome to pray for me too :) ) that I can use my academic life to Honor and Praise God. That I can focus on my studies and use time studying instead of relaxing or goofing off as a sacrifice for Christ. It may not be a crazy story, but I believe its where God has called me to be for now.
Grace and Peace,
Zachary

Parents weekend

so everyone is on their best behavior, and all the rooms are tidied up real nice. Its interesting the way we change how we act for peoples parents. My mom and dad are coming out to see me at noon. it should be interesting. My room set up is anything but common. Beds are lofted onto desks and book shelves, and my mattress doubles as a couch on the floor sorrounded by bean bags. This floor lounge is all illuminated by Christmas lights and band art work. all in all its pretty good. i'm a fan.

Its october

It's October! the leaves are mostly turned and the weather is cooling down. I love it. Fall is my favorite time of the year. I pulled a box of sweaters out of my closed today and am excited to start wearing them. I'm also working on finding a train that will get me to Chicago. It reminds me of John Foreman saying that home is a place you can still get to by train. I love that image. so hopefully the 16th ill be on my way to Chi Town to see Theresa and Tommy. I love those two.
Peace,
Zach